I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
