It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
