just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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