If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
