i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
