8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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