she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
