I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
