OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
