I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
