have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
should my penis look like a turkey
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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