Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
