somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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