Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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