it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
