Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
