i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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