I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
