therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When are your genitals available?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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