I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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