the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
