Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
