You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
