I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
