You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
