gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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