I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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