Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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