I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
