question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
