So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
