I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
