We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm both gender and math confused
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
