I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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