Already got asked if we're dating
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
