Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
