Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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