Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize