Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
