i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
