just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
