He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
