why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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