This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
