dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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