I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
