Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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