I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
