I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
