awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
