watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
