i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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