Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
