I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
