This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
