It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
