just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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