she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
