You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
