It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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